few days..

i have written in a while,
well safwan barely notices me these days.
i feel like crying.
i thought were bro sis?
):
w/e.
i really have nothing to say right now.
except that Hyun Gu's being nice to me again,
and i adore him..
absolutely.
i knoe deep down that he likes me too,
he even said it,
but he just won't admit it....
w/e
love you Hyun Gu...
and you too Safwan.

owh yeah...
Jarrod said that he didn't wanna go the dance with me,
and i'M like, that's fine don't worry about it,
cuz to be honest, i really didn't wanna go with him.
so see ya round jarrod.

you seem to be married.

hmm.
too bad you're married.
i guess i am crushed.
that's why you're called a crush?
because i get crushed in the end though.
but i'M not completely heart broken.
i wasn't hooked on you too much.
but now we can be, brothers and sisters.
we can have a borther, sister relationship.
cuz apparently that's all you see me as.
now what do i mean by him being married?
on facebook you can change your martial status,
and his is "married to-"
i dunno the girl's name, why bother? she's some blonde.
well w/e

today safwan was on his way to the soccer field and i was playing basketball,
so i was standing there in the middle, and he comes up to me,
he messes up my hair and goes hey nadhirah.
and i'M like, "hi" with an annoyed look on my face.
well i just don't want to give a hint that i like him.
there's no possible way that we could be together.
except for way into the future.
maybe 10 years from now, where you wouldn't be able to remember me.
anyways, at the end of the day me and dana were complaining on how easy safwan's test was,
and then the bell rang, we had to go except for people who didn't finish (safwan and others)
and when you came outside, i was shocked and was like,
"you already finished your test???"
and you just nodded with a grin on your face.
you're such a liar.
but a good one.
you treat me like a little kid, and well i sorta act like one.
i try to be kawaii (cute in japanese).
hopefully this means it worked,
cuz you seem to fall for it,
i'M the sweet, innocent-looking, mischevious, annoying, cute, awesome little sis you never wanted.

Love you safwan♥♥~~

violence is my answer to you.

tsk tsk safwan.
you like ot bully me so much.
or would that be playfully teasing me?
hmm....
anyways,
after second recess we were going back uptstairs to class,
and on the way up he is ahead of me,
and he is still able to cover my face with my hoodie.
argh. how ?!
and during french i just kept giving you a dirty look.
how about during drama hmm?
i was sitting across you and then i had to switch seats with Hanna,
because she had to talk to her group,
then i was sitting infront of safwan because of that.
you kept putting my hoodie on!
it was so annoying,
then Tom did it once,
and Safwan tried to blame Limay,
so then i slapped only Safwan and Tom,
then he kept doing it,
so i kept on hitting him until...
Hadiyah gave me a pen,
which i used to poke safwan, and he was like,
the first time i stabbed him he said "actually that didn't hurt"
then i stabbed hin in the knee then he said "okay that time it hurt"
i kept trying to stab him and he just kept holding on to my wrist and hands,
to avoid me from stabbing you, aa i absolutely loved that.
then he was like okay stop you've stabbed me like 5 times now.
then Tom started saying i was a by polar (all mood swingy and stuff)
i didn't respond because he was so stupid.
and then Tom said owh she has swin flu!
and i told them that i didn't care...
Safwan was like *gasp* you're mexican?
he was like i can tottally see that,
and i'M like NO! i'M asian.
but while i said asian Haytham interupted me and told them i was Malaysian.
and i was like, yes...."Haytham is the smartest one."
then Tom was all like "what? he's the smartest one? more like dumbest one"
somewhere along the lines i think i heard limay say that safwan liked me,
but i didn't hear it exactly, but i heard:
No! She's a 7th grader!
then safwan whacked Limay with his scripted which was rolled in a tube.
but then when ms.somerville was talking,
safwan tried to put my hoodie up again then ms.somerville caught him,
but when he got back i heard something like,
i'M gonna punch her.
does he mean me? i hope not ):
i'M sorry safwan but it's not my fault.
he kept putting his feet ony my chair,
then i looked back at him, at his feet specifically,
then he was like just sit at the edge of your seat,
then he said what he always says "stop crying"
i just rolled my eyes after and sat back.
and when we were going outside to walk home,
i was down the staircase and he was up,
he took his back backpack and was like, nadhirah think fast!
but he wasn't angry, he was smiling and laughing.
when we were walking home, Emma was like,
i think Safwan likes you,
then i was like,nooooo, he likes tabitha,
and emma was like yea, and hadiyah too,
then i was like he's such a flirt.
then Emma was like, doesn't he have a girlfriend though?
and she said that her name was paige or something.
and paige was the girl who i saw on face book with her arm around safwan.
i hope they broke up.
owh yeah yesterday i saw on facebook,
that he was talking to girls about this marriage app?
): he's marrying other woman.
i'M only a year younger than you safwan.
but if i see you in the future, i hope i'LL be pretty,
that wya you will actually consider me as an option.

i had another daydream...but i'LL say it later.

.love you safwan.

agressive animal.

omg.
today at recesss safwan,
you played so agressively and hard!
i was afraid to go near you!
ahaha not really, i'M stronger than those other girls =P
but for playin freakin rough i turned you down on two of those hand shake things,
i'M sorry Safwan, i truly am. i would've loved the touch of your hands aginst mine.
but people would think i like you.
then when i reject you, you put my hoodie over my face again.
but atleast i got one hand shake thing from you.
on the stair case that is (:
and that made my day.
don't worry when you went online i said sorry to you.
and you said okay.
i hope things are okay between us.
when i said to the girls that i wanted to play basketball if safwan's playing,
they took it the wrong way,
i meant that i wanted to physically hurt you,
but they thought i liked you.
i was glad you ran into me at times,
like from behind your frontside just went against my backside,
it felt so warm and comfortable.
i absolutely love your touch.
it tingles me inside my body.
one thing i also noticed when you play basketball,
which is really funny,
you like to stick out your tounge like a DOG,
i find it really weird.....
and the others tooo,
but in some ways, cute.
when i was at my locker with umal, she told me that you always ask her for hugs...
is that true??
nooo!!! i'LL wait forever even just for one hug from you.

(written last night, posted in afternoon)

3 day weekend

okay woo hoo!
i just had a 3 day week end and it was awesome!!
on the first day (saturday),
my friends cam over and we watched scary movies,
on sunday i wne white water rafting!!
Omg that was so much fun!
but i had to miss one of the rapids because it was too cold.
i litterally felt like i was going to die out there in the cold.
but anyways, it was so awesome.
monday i went to a bbq for the PYT (ambassodor of Brunei)'s birthday.
i had a blast playing soccer and getting wet with water guns.
it was an awesome time!
and omg tonight safwan actucally talked to me on msn!
omg!!!!
how i love him...
it was the shortest convo ever, but who cares!
this was our convo:

safwan FT. Sean. doddz and Josh Hartley...Soon Chris.Anderson and Gunner Rivers says:
Shouldn't u be asleep?

says:
maybe
shouldn't you?

safwan FT. Sean. doddz and Josh Hartley...Soon Chris.Anderson and Gunner Rivers says:
LOL
No

says:
same thing for me then (:

safwan FT. Sean. doddz and Josh Hartley...Soon Chris.Anderson and Gunner Rivers says:
K:P

says:
how was your week end?

safwan FT. Sean. doddz and Josh Hartley...Soon Chris.Anderson and Gunner Rivers says:
Good
But I could type my myth cause my labtop broke

says:
owh that's too bad.

safwan FT. Sean. doddz and Josh Hartley...Soon Chris.Anderson and Gunner Rivers says:
Yea):



i love you safwan.
nyte nyte....(short for today)

past 2 days

i forgot to write for one day.
my bad.
so anywaysss....

Yesterday when i was going out to recess Safwan was trying to fix my hoodie inside out
but i thought he was just gonna put it on my head again,
so then i turned around and hit him,
he was like OW i was just trying to fix it! it was inside out.
i didn't believe him then Dorcas was like, it is inside out,
i'M like: -___-""
and then i go to Dorcas "hint hint, nudge nudge"
and Dorcas was like, aww how sweet.
for DPA we did some game that was a mix of,
touch football, basketball, and ultimate.
it was was complicated but easy,
safwan was playing so really rough!
he looked hot doing so.
but the he HURT JANE!!!
poor jane she was tearing and a bit of cryin i guess.
she got hit in the eye with the foot ball.
poor Jane D:
stupid safwan for playing so damn rough!
Tom was playing really funny though...lol
i couldn't stop laughing.
he was jumping around like a crazy monkey lol lol lol.
when jane was hurt we were all like are you okay?
then safwan comes along and i'M just like "go away"
and he was like "it was just an accident!"
and he was all like "what do you want me to do? give you a hug?"
no safwan no. don't do that. that would be very badd....
so when we were done DPA and i was going to put back my penny in the basket,
Tom is walking to the door and i'M walking to the basket,
then he passes me by, but breathes on me,
i could feel his warm breath on my right cheek.
it felt good. it's like....nvrm.
that's too peverted of me if i say it.



okay about today.
well today i guess was better and worse?
i dunno,
so today on the way out to recess safwan tried to put my hoodie on over my head again,
then i just hit him, then he was like "fine i'LL do it to Hanna too"
it's okay safwan, do it to me only, i knoe i'M your favourite :D
then i hit him on the head this time,
he was like "you're such a bully!"
i was like HMPH. but safwan no i love you.
then he did it again to me, then when we were outside,
he got the basket ball, i kicked him...
but luckily he did not trip or fall.
During Science class they had this egg experiment thing,
i looked and safwan mouthed to him : eewww.
he just looked&smiled at me from the front of class to the back of the room,
which was where he was sitting.
but what i got upset at the end was,
when he was fooling around and flirting with Tabitha,
he put his arm around her.
that got me upset. i just felt like collapsing,
but kept my cool.

it would be so awesome even if he did just see me as a lil' sis.
cuz i'D be more than happy to be one.
he thought i had an older brother that was 1 or 2 years older.
i think he got that from my facebook profile pic.
but then i was like, he's 24 or 25 -___-"
even if he was like an older brother to me,
i would be really happy (:
love you safwan,
hope to dream about you tonight,
or atleast day dream about you for a while.

I guess we're not.

i don't get Jarrod at all....does he like me or not??
he asks me to the dance, but doesn't act like he likes me.
like wtf.
we were walking back home and,
Jarrod and Hyun Gu ran to Riley to go say something,
so me and Garth were left back,
then Jarrod turns around and uses his hands to make a heart around me and Garth.
EWW i don't like Garth one bit.
seriously Jarrod, if you don't like me then just freakin SAY SO.
i am PISSED OFF.
and during second recess, Jarrod was inside playing guitar or somehting,
and we were sitting outside in a group,
then Riley comes and complains like "wow jarrod can't even play 4 notes right!"
so that was the reason he was still inside,
and Emma and Riley were just like,
yea and also because he likes Julia Bueno...
or w.e her name is.
don't my friends acknowledge my feelings?
don't they knoe by now that i like jarrod....seriously....aish.....

but that was the down side today,
but the happy thing today is safwan,
during first reccess we were playing soccer then safwan comes along,
he kicks it a bit and around then he goes in net with me and Jake and Hyun Gu,
whenever he got the ball he would boot it all the way across the field,
i told him too calm down then i just hit him,
safwan was like "you bully"
then i just asked him to stop doing that and then was like "but you do make a good goalie"
and then smiled at him,
he was like thanks, and did that hand-shake thingy.
but then he kicked it over the fence and we lost the ball -___-
owh well.
when were going to gym he passed by me so i said hi,
then he said hi to, but with a weird expression i can't explain....
maybe he suspects that i like him?! omg nooo....
and at the end of the day i pointed a feather at everyone outside,
safwan was putting on his earphones on and was like, "sorry what was that?"
and then he just kept on walking.... -___-
w/e. i'M just happy he notices me every now and then.
better than Jarrod i must say....